RP 2 of 3 for 3rd Round - Montrose discovers yet more about himself, and Caladonian has a few words about Michael Trey.
Title on the board: RP 2 of 3 for 3rd Round - Montrose discovers yet more about himself, and Caladonian has a few words about Michael Trey. BTW, talking of words, this title box can fit quite a few! When does it end? Now? Now? Or even now? Ah damn it, I give up, IT NEVER ENDS!
Federation
Roleplay God 2
Event
Eastern Bracket Southern Section Semi-Final
Opponent
Michael Trey
Type
Singles
Title
Preparing, preparing, and, um, preparing!
Part 1 - Montrose's brother's thoughts
Nobody has ever really heard of Montrose. He is a nobody. Before he joined the DWF, he was just some fat bastard who worked independent shows. Now though, Montrose has transformed into a ball. A Human Wrecking Ball. The targets are set, the chains are starting to swing, and Michael Trey is in the way. There is no escape. However, like always, Montrose is not leaving anything to chance. As Michael Trey said in a promo of his recently, "you're not ambitious enough to study your opponent" . Let me get one thing straigh on behalf of my brother; he is more than ambitious enough. If ambition is all that counts, then Montrose would be standing above everyone and everything else. Hell, he'd probably be standing taller than Mountain Everest!
You know, the other day, I came in from the gymnasium, where I've been training for my big return. I sat down in a chair, and slumped. I was knackered, no energy left in me what so ever. I connected to the internet, and went straight to the RP God 2 Tournament website, to see if any more promos had been broadcast about the upcoming matches this Saturday. There was a notice on the message board, asking if anyone had seen the promo from Michael Trey! I visited this person on AIM, and asked if they wouldn't mind finding a copy of it, and sending it to me. He could only get me a text version, so I couldn't here the tone in which the words were said, but one strange thing happened, one very strange thing happened. In one hundreth of a second, I went from having no energy, to having all the energy in the world. Can you guess why this miracle occured? I was mad! Not only was I mad, but something, someone, has made me mad. That man, or should I say, excuse for a man, was Michael Trey.
How dare he say those things about my brother? You say all those sarcastic things, about how Montrose just 'got beat up'? You talk about how Montrose didn't really have a 'bad youth'? My friend, or should I say, my foe, you do not know the half of it, so you should shut up and keep your mouth firmly shut about matters you do not understand! Tell me Michael, if someone 'beats you up', and puts you in a coma for 4 months, would you consider that to ruin your youth? I think you would agree with me, that is a pretty bad thing to happen. And if for some reason you don't agree with me, try this. Monty was paralysed. He couldn't move. For two months, he would lay in bed, either at the hospital or at home, and he couldn't move. If I went into his room and wanted to speak to him, I would have to put my back through hell trying to sit him up. The only bit of him he could move was his eyes and his mouth. For two months, that was all he could do. Two months Michael, two months. I'm not taking anything away from your traumas as a kid, believe me. Having your mother die at such a young age was terrible. But having such a massive time of your life wasted is just as bad. Neither tragedy is worse than the other, and I'm not pretending that having your Mum die isn't so bad. What I am saying is that you should learn to treat people with some respect! As you said, Monty doesn't know you, but it also works the other way around. You don't know Montrose. You don't know the half of what has been going on in his life. This next bit is just a small tid bit of the average day in Montrose's life, average.......
Part 2 - Back to Montrose's days at school
Lets start on a warm day, a warm Friday 29th June 1987. Montrose attended the Boswells School in Chelmsford. It was a pretty big school, with 5 main years, each with 246 students. The sixth form had about 300 students in total, so it was was a crowded place. It was just a normal day when Montrose walked into the courtyard that morning, and he really did have no idea about what was going to happen that day.
As Monty walked up to his friends, they looked at him. Something didn't look quite right, Then, one of them shouted out "can't you afford a comb??!!!" . Montrose looked in the nearest window, and noticed that his hair was sticking up. It had been flat when he'd left his house 20 minutes ago, but since then the wind had started to blow, and Montrose's hair was the sort of hair that didn't need a second invitation to go to parts it wasn't wanted. So for the rest of the day, Montrose was to walk around the place with all his sticking up, and his foes taking the michael out of him.
First period was an hours P.E! On Friday's during the summer, it was athletics. Montrose was good at throwing events because of his build, but also due to his build was his complete and utter failure with anything related to running. So you can imagine what Montrose was thinking when his teacher told them that today the two hundred metres and the triple jump were looming large. Great. Just what he wanted.
First up was the two hundred metres. They were told to get into fours, and Montrose managed to go with all his friends. They also managed to become the last group to go. For seven minutes, Montrose sat on the hill next to the track, watching person after person go sprinting around the corner and down the straight. How was Monty going to get around that track and keep his respectability? He was just going to look stupid! Then, the teacher called them forward. It was Monty's turn.
The caller shouted out "On your marks" . All the other bent down, so in order to look a bit more normal, Monty followed suit. "Ge set" . Montrose's heart beat really started to get up at this point. It was nearly time to run. "GO!" Everyone leaped off the floor and started to run. Montrose aboloutely pegged it around the corner, and after eighty metres he was actually in the lead! At the finish line, little whispers could be heard like "Is that Montrose?" . It was Montrose, but not everything was to go to plan. Montrose started to slow down. So much so in fact, that with fifty metres to go he was last out of the four in his group. Montrose's leg started to go wobbly. Twenty metres to go. Then Montrose's eyes went blurred. Ten metres. Montrose's arms flailed. Seven metres to go. Then Montrose's legs went completely, and he fell down to the ground. Five metres to go, and no more ground was made. Montrose fell to the ground in a massive heap. What's worse, he couldn't manage to get his arm out, and he had fell on the grass on his head, as if going for a diving headbutt. Montrose's knocked himself unconcious. As one of the kids shouted out "HA! He just got KNOCKED THE F*** OUT!" .
See, Michael Trey, Montrose had to stand with being made a laughing stock virtually every day of his child hood. Now, things are different. He's the one making others a laughing stock. Michael Trey, I know my brother, and come the end of your little match, you will know Montrose's boot, personally.
Part 3 - Montrose goes out to relax
The time is 6pm in the morning. Montrose has just been woken up by his brother, Caladonian. At first he cannot remember what is going today. Then Caladonian says:
Caladonian: Come on bro, we got a train to catch!
That's what Montrose remembers - today is the day of the football league play off finals! Leyton Orient are playing Blackpool at the Millennium Stadium, and there is a long journey ahead of the boys before they get there! At 6:15AM, Montrose and Caladonian are sitting at the dinner table, eating Kelloggs Frosties, and they're talking about the game ahead of them today, and of course, the past season
Montrose: I don't think we're going to do it today. 2 years ago we set off on this exact same journey, except then it was at Wembley against Scunthorpe. Remember what happened? That flipping Spaniard Alex Calvo-Garcia popped up and scored the only goal of the game.
Caladonian: It was pretty close though! I cannot believe we didn't score! In the 89th minute, all the Orient fans on their feet, Amara Simba is through on goal, one-on-one with the keeper, and what does he do? Wacks it straight against his legs and the defence clears it.
Montrose: Outrageous. And that was from a striker who scored against France against England at the very same stadium in '92. At least he won't be in the team this time around. Oh, who was it we sold him to?
Caladonian: Kingstonian, although I think he now coaches at Barnet.
Montrose: That said, we need a prolific scorer like him in our team today. Griffiths got suspended for four games after that elbow he wacked in someones face a few weeks back. Just typical that today is the last day of his suspension.
Caladonian: And Steve Watts got sent off against Hull in the home leg, so that's our two best strikers out! I think they've scored about 30 goals between them this season!
Montrose: Never mind. We've got Jabo Ibehre and Chris Tate up front, the two wonders of the world.
Caladonian: Great. A kid who plays for England U-18, and is playing his 3rd game for us. Then we have Chris Tate, who cost 25K from Scarborough. Between them they've scored 6 goals all season!
Montrose: Hey, no one ever got anywhere meaningful by being pessimistic! Come on, look at the world!
Caladonian: I am! It's cloudy, 6:30am in the morning, and SHIT WE'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR OUR TRAIN!
The two brothers quickly run around the house and gather together all their stuff. 5 minutes later they're packed up in Montrose's B Registration Fiesta, and another 5 minutes later they're at Chelmsford train station. They march into the station, which is virtually empty, but for a lone guard! Montrose gets out his flag, starts waving his flag, and chants...
Montrose: WE'RE THE FAMOUS LEYTON ORIENT AND WE'RE OFF TO CARDIFF TWICE! ORIENT! ORIENT! WE'RE THE FAMOUS LE...
Guard: You won't be off to Cardiff at all if you don't catch the train!
Up the stairs, there is a train! The two brothers sprint up the stairs, as the train slowly starts moving! They run up to a door, open it, and both manage to get in! Mind you, before they get in, they were sprinting so fast just to keep up with the train! They both sit down in seats, out of breath
Montrose: That...was...close!
Caladonian: I've never...run so...quick in my...life!
Montrose: Never mind!
So the two out of breath brothers sit down on the train, all the way to Cardiff. They have a few beers to drink, and as ever, Montrose ate all the pies! As they get off the train in Cardiff, they march down the road. The Orient fans are out numbered two to one by Blackpool fans. So what does Montrose do? He gets out his flag and chants...
Montrose: WE'RE THE FAMOUS LEYTON ORIENT AND WE'RE GONNA KICK YOUR ASS! ORIENT! ORIENT! WE'RE THE...
Caladonian: Shut up Monty! Ever occured to you we might lose? We've gotta sit with this lil' bunch of Jackasses on the train back!
Montrose: Whatever, but you know what? I want to place a bet!
Caladonian: I think there's a bookies in the shopping center somewhere, lets go and find it!
So the two Mann brothers go marching off down the road, and come to the bookies. Montrose walks in, £100 pound note in his wallet, and looks at the odds board for the Orient match
Montrose: 3-1 on Orient winning, evens on Blackpool and 9-2 for a draw after 90 minutes.
Caladonian: The draw could be a good bet!
Montrose: It wouldn't be bad, if the game was gonna end in a draw!
Caladonian: First scorer for Orient then? Jabo is at 6-1, Lockwood 13-2, and Chris Tate is 20-1.
Montrose: 20-1 odds on a striker to score first? Those are bloody good odds!
Caladonian: Yeah, but it's Chris Tate! He hasn't scored for months! Hey, at the bottom there! "Pick the correct minute the goal is scored in as well and we will times the odds but 90!"
Montrose: 90 times 20? That would be, um, 1800-1!
Caladonian: Not bad!
Montrose walks up to the counter, and gives the woman the betting slip with all the details
Montrose: Is that alright love? You look a bit feint!
Woman: Let me get this straight! Chris Tate to score for Orient in the first minute of the game, at 1800-1?
Montrose: Yes, and I'm placing £100!
Woman: Dear, the odds aren't 1800-1 for nothing!
Montrose: I know. I win £180,000 if I get it right.
Woman: Whatever. Good luck.
The brothers leave the shop and head off into the stadium. They sit in their sixth row seats, as the fans start to pour into the ground. Once again, Montrose gets out his flag. This is the sound that rings around the Millennium Stadium!
Montrose: TOMMY TAYLOR'S BARMY ARMY!
Caladonian: OOH! OOH! OOH! OOH!
Montrose: TOMMY TAYLOR'S BARMY ARMY!
Caladonian: OOH! OOH! OOH! OOH!
Then a person behind the brothers speaks up
Person: Why are you cheering for Taylor? Wasn't it only 3 months ago you two were orchestrating a campaign for the man to be sacked?
Caladonian: You're right yer know! Brother, after 3, you know what to do! 3!
Montrose Caladonian: CHEER UP TOMMY TAYLOR! OH WHAT CAN IT MEAN, TO A! FAT COCKNEY BASTARD WITH A, SHIT FOOTBALL TEAAAAMMMMMM!
Person: Come on! I wasn't saying that you shouldn't cheer for Taylor, I was just commenting that it's a bit ironic! Anyway, today is the day to get behind the lads!
Montrose: Shucks little stranger behind us, you're right! Caladonian, after 3,456,284.679! 3,456,284.679!
Montrose Caladonian: SING YOUR HEARTS OUT! SING YOUR HEARTS OUT! SING YOUR HEARTS OUT FOR THE LADS! SING YOUR HEARTS OUT FOR THE LADS!
The person behind the two brothers just shakes his head and keeps his mouth shut. Then, the tannoy announcer starts speaking. The speakers are just in front of the front row, and the noise is deafening!
Montrose: TURN THAT BLOODY RACKET DOWN!
Caladonian: What do you think it is, a free for all?!!
A few minutes later, surely enough, the tannoy announcer is just a touch quieter, and so the Mannkind brothers can hear what is being said!
Tannoy Announcer: As a big welcome to Cardiff, we are going to have a Fan of the Day competition! During the next half an hour, the camera will come in front of some of the fans and record your reactions! The best fan will be crowned Fan of the Day, and the prize is pretty cool! If you placed a bet on something to do with todays match, we will times the odds not by 2, not by 3, BUT 1000!
Montrose: That makes odds of 1,800,000-1!
Caladonian: You could win £180,000,000!
Montrose: Cool!
Tannoy Announcers: The cameras are on for the next half an hour, and the next time you hear me we shall name the winner! So till next time, stay cool, GO WILD!
Montrose: This is quite a good opportunity no?
Caladonian: I think it's time to call in special song no.5!
Montrose: Special song no.5? That's too extreme brother! We might get sued for copyright!
Caladonian: Who cares? If it wins you all that money you can just give them £5m!
17 minutes later, the cameras go onto Montrose and Caladonian! They seize the opportunity, and go into their song at the top of their suprisingly good voices
Montrose: O'S, ARE ON THEIR WAY TO CARDIFF! ORIENT'S GONNA DO IT AGAIN! THEY CAN'T STOP THEM, THE BOYS FROM LEYTON, THE BOYS FROM BRISBANE ROAD! ORIENT, WE'RE GONNA BE BEHIND YA, ALL TOGETHER, MAN FOR MAN! THEYE WON'T EVEN GET NEAR US! ORIENT'S GONNA CAPTURE, THE GAME!
Caladonian: IN OUR RANKS THERE'S JABO IBEHRE! HE'S HAD A DREAM FOR A DAY OR TWO! THAT ONE DAY, HE'S GONNA PLAY AT CARDIFF, AND HIS DREAM HAS JUST COME TRUE! JABO, WE'RE GONNA BE BEHIND YA, TOGETHER, MAN FOR MAN! THEY WON'T EVEN GET NEAR US! LEYTON'S GONNA CAPTURE THE CUP!
Montrose: Gimme an L!
Caladonian: L!
Montrose: Gimme an E!
At this point the cameras move away, and the two, somewhat exhausted, brothers, sit back down in their seats. 13 minutes later, the tannoy announcer is back on!
Tannoy Announcer: Welcome back fans, and thanks for going wild! I'll go straight into it, todays Fan of the Day, and the winner of their bet being multiplied by 1,000, MONTROSE!
Montrose: I WON! I WON DAMN IT! THIS CANNOT BE (Censored for TV)ING TRUE!
Caladonian: Easy Monty, you're live on national tele! Lucky for you they have a seven second delay to cut out language like that!
Then the cameras cut away from Montrose and back to the SkyTV studios
Montrose: Damn, where did you put that ticket?
Caladonian: Cool it bro, I put it in the matchday program, nice and safe there!
For the 15 minutes before the game, the crowd goes mad! Songs like Let Me Entertain You, Tiruana Taxi and The Great Escape are played! Then, the Tannoy Announcer goes on one last hyping up spree before the game
Tannoy Announcer: The teams are just about to come out, so come on, lets show them your support! Todays game is between Blackpool...
Blackpool Fans: AAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Tannoy Announcer: And Leyton Orient...
Orient Fans: YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Tannoy Announcer: Ladies and Gentleman, the teams in the 3rd Division Play Off Final!
As the teams march proudly onto the pitch, the crowd goes ****ing bonkers! Fireworks go off, balloons are thrown, flags are thrown, the teams are cheered. Then, kick off. We go to the commentary team...
Alan Parry: Both teams could win this game! Of course, the surface is slippery, and this smallish crowd fo 25,000 is electric!
Alvin Martin: It's gonna be great!
Alan Parry: Danny Shittu now, passes it back to the keeper, HE'S SLIPPED! Chris Tate in, round the keeper, open goal, GOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL FOR LEYTON ORIENT! CHRIS TATE, IN THE FIRST MINUTE OF THE GAME!
Montrose: Oh crap...
Caladonian: YOU'RE A MILLIONAIRE!
Montrose: Inverness is gonna kill me!
Caladonian: Why?
Montrose: I promised her I wouldn't bet!
Alan Parry: The Orient fans have gone crazy, and this stadium sounds like it's full! At the moment, the Orient are heading into the Second Division, and the Orient Express is at full speed!
27 minutes later
Alan Parry: Blackpool piling on the pressure, desperately trying to claw their way back into the game! Danny Shittu swings in a far post cross, Ormerod gets up, GOAL FOR BLACKPOOL! Blackpool have equalised, and the game is all square!
Alvin Martin: Terrible defending! Simon Downer should have dealt with that, but Ormerod slipped him, and dived in to meet the cross! Good attacking, terrible defending.
Montrose: Oh god...
2 minutes later...
Alan Parry: Matty Lockwood corner, headed out by Simpson, HOUGHTON! ORIENT HAVE GONE 2-1 UP!
End of the game
Alan Parry: An inspired come back by Blackpool, they move onto the second division after a 4-2 win!
Montrose: I don't believe it! I just don't believe it!
In disgust, Montrose chucks his matchday program onto the pitch. He then realises that the betting slip was in the program! Montrose gets the program and checks the slip, but one of the players must have stepped on it, as there is a stud mark through the middle! So they go down to the bookies, and what does the bookie say?
Woman: I'm sorry, but this ticket is now void.
Part 4 - A poem
Michael Trey, are you from Felixstowe Bay? Say I something can I may? In the month of May, you made others pay, and they did prey, but tomorrow night you're on a dinner tray! I'll kick your ass from post to post, your head will look just like a roast! Up and down and imbetween, you're going to lose a tween! Tomorrow your run comes to an end, I will make your stomach just one big bend!
Roleplay Statistics
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