The Mann has arrived!

The Human Wrecking Ball, The Big Show, The Full Monty, The Mont, The Showstopper, The Hot Prospect, The King of Nicknames, MONTROSE MANN!

Federation/Tournament: Roleplay God 2
Opponent: Scott Crimson
Characters featured: Montrose, Bobby, Caladonian, Thistle, Millennium Lisa, Ali E
Subject: The opening of Montrose's company

8th June 2001

*In just 2 days, Montrose will be opening up his own company, Mannkind PLC. It's been hyped by the media for months, and finally this is the day when all the hard work will pay off. £1,298,400 is estimated to have gone into the project so far, so expectations are very high. Mannkind PLC will be a pretty general company. They are going to have a minor sports channel on Sky Digital, and Mannkind Radio will be on FM Radio. They also have their own factory producing sportswear, and the final aspect of the company is public relations for famous people. Celebrities already under Mannkind PLC include Elton John and Dwayne Johnson a.k.a The Rock. On 10th June, that is all going to be open to the public. However, at headquaters in London, England, things are not going as planned. And guess who is being left to sort it all out? We join him as he is on the phone to a factory in Oxford*

Montrose: What do you mean you cannot get me TV Cameras? We open in 2 days damn it, and how are we supposed to run a TV Station without any cameras?

Bobby: Monty, I'm doing my best up here! Come on, you've trusted me with putting the whole thing together since we started 6 months ago! Just trust me on this one yeah?

Montrose: Trust you? One day I asked for a pen, and you came back with a pen 30 minutes later! You must be the most lazy git I've ever known!

Bobby: Me lazy? All you've done so far is sit on your ass in London and answer the bloody phone!

Montrose: DON'T CALL ME LAZY! I'm a former UEF Tag Team and Ultimate Champion, I'm the WLW Shoot Champion! The last thing you can do is call me lazy! Ok anyway, let just assume you do get the 10 TV cameras we need, and get them to our Colchester studios by tomorrow, what about the radio station? I told you when I briefed you back in December that the radion station was to be 24/7, yet we only 5 presenters and 2 newsreaders! What have you been doing?

Bobby: I'll also remind you what else was said at the briefing! You also put in your notes you want only the best! Now believe it or not, all the best people like Chris Evans, Zoe Ball and Alan Brazil already have contracts with major radio stations! Now unless I go over the budget, you tell me how I am supposed to get those guys and gals to join us? Monty, we're no BBC or Sky, we're Mannkind PLC and so far no one knows what we're going to be like! If we turn out to be another BSkyB then people will flock to us in their millions, but until that day, none of the big players are going to join us!

Montrose: What about all the budding presenters out there that no one has given a chance? All those people you just named must have started somewhere!

Bobby: What, meet loads of rookies at the same time as getting the TV Cameras, sorting out cardboard boxes for the factory and getting top agents for the PR side of things? Come on Monty, I'm only one man! Why don't you get off of your fat ass and start joining in on this little thing yeah?

Montrose: Ok, I got the picture. Just focus on the TV Cameras at the moment and I'll sort out the rest.

Bobby: Ok, see ya Monty.

*Montrose puts the phone down, before leaning back in his black leather chair and running his palms down the side of his face while having a massive sigh. He then picks up the phone and dials his older brother, Caladonian*

Caladonian: Hello, Caladonian Mann here?

Montrose: High Calad, it's Monty.

Caladonian: Ah Monty, how's the training for Roleplay God 2 going?

Montrose: It isn't, but that's not for you to worry about. What do you do with your evenings these days?

Caladonian: I just work on independent shows, although Vince has called me and we're discussing terms on the new WCW at the moment.

Montrose: How much has he offered you?

Caladonian: I don't think that's any of y...

Montrose: How much has he offered you?

Caladonian: £100,000 a year.

Montrose: I'll give you 125 if you do a 3 hour nightly show on Mannkind Radio.

Caladonian: You joking? This is a massive opportunity for me brother! Do you have any idea how big this whole WCW Invasion thing is going to be?

Montrose: If you're so instrumental to this thing, why you only being payed 100?

Caladonian: Because I already have tons of money from the HWF compensation case. This way the WCW can afford better guys, and I'll be working with better wrestlers.

Montrose: Can you work any shows for me?

Caladonian: What, UEF?

Montrose: No, mean Mannkind Radio. Can you do any shows for me?

Caladonian: On what?

Montrose: Whatever you and the listeners want to talk about!

Caladonian: I can only do Saturday's and Wednesday's.

Montrose: That's much appreciated brother! That means if I do a few shows a week, we're all covered as far as presenters go! I'll fax you some details later!

Caladonian: My pleasure. Best of luck with all your stuff!

*Montrose puts the phone down, and looks at his clipboard. It is full of notes from his conversation with Bobby, and it also tells him that now he hast to sort out cardboard boxes for the factory. Montrose gets up, and goes down to reception, where he speaks to the receptionist, Jill*

Montrose: Jill, can you look up in the Yellow Pages anything to do with cardboard boxes? I've just got word that the factory is running low on them.

Jill: Cardboard boxes? You leaving it a bit late ain't ya? You do know the opening is in just 2 days?

Montrose: Yes thank you Jill, I am more than aware of that fact. If you can find anywhere, then order 5,000. If you can't, then let me know and I'll contact a few of contacts.

9th June 2001

*The opening is tomorrow, but for now Montrose has other business to focus on. He heads off down to the UEF gym, where he is to have a bit of a work out. His first Roleplay God 2 match is in just a few days, and Montrose is only just returning to competitive wrestling. As he walks into the gym, his nephew Thistle and long time wrestling pals Millennium Lisa and Ali E are working out*

Montrose: Yo guys, wassup?

Thistle: Monty? What are you doing here? I haven't seen you in the gym for a month of so now!

Montrose: No, well I've been going to other gyms haven't I! But I thought I'd return to familiar surroundings for now, espeically with all my business ventures.

Millennium Lisa: How is the DWF going?

Montrose: I made my return on Sunday against Mike Extreme. Unfortunately I lost due to a low blow and two chair shots. I'll get him back somewhere along the line.

Ali E: Hey, isn't he also in this Roleplay God 2 thing you're going in for?

Montrose: Yeah, but he won't have Thomas Ruble to help him out this time. Good to see plenty of DWF'ers turning in for it though. As well as me and Mike, Dusty and The Educator are just two of the others going in. I'm pretty confident that one of us will win.

Thistle: And what about the WLW?

Montrose: I beat G-Man on Monday to win the Shoot Title. I know it ain't the best of titles in what isn't the best of feds, but I'm getting back into the winning way of thinking. Do you know this is the first title I've won outside the UEF?

Millennium Lisa: Get off it!

Montrose: It's true!

Millennium Lisa: Well you'll add a different type of title after this tournament right?

Montrose: I think I'm in with a chance, but I'm still learning this business. There are some people around, like Mike, who are technically better than I am. Even with my 501lbs belly I'm not the best. That said, never count out the Wrecking Ball!

Ali E: Who you got in the first round?

Montrose: Scott Crimson.

Ali E: Never heard of him.

Montrose: Tushay. One thing is sure though, after I've kicked his ass to hell and back he'll know who I am!

Thistle: What kind of shape you in though? You've only had 3 matches in the past 3 months!

Montrose: Not the best. Ya know, I was in a dark match against some jobber, which isn't one of the 3 matches you've just mentioned, but I went for the Montificator, and when I swung him out behind me I almost mucked up the neckbreaker part! And the Full Monty, well, I dunno what's gone wrong with that move because I cannot do it!

Thistle: You remember who taught you the Full Monty?

Montrose: You.

Thistle: Exactly, and I take offense when people forget how to do a move I taught them! You make sure you get it right before that match on Saturday against, um, what's his name again?

Montrose: Scott Crimson. His face will look crimson when I've finished with him!

*The guys hang around the gym for a while, and Montrose works on his stamina, as well as Montrose practicing the Full Monty on Ali E till it's perfect. When he leaves the gym, he goes home and sleeps, for tomorrow on Mannkind PLC launch day, he has a radio show to do in the evening!*

10th June 2001

*Montrose arrives at the Mannkind Radio studios at 7pm, in preparation for his show at 8pm. It will be a 3 hour show all about wrestling, and he has not guests, so he's going to have to do it all himself! After the show has started and Montrose has done all the mandatory stuff, the first call is taken*

Montrose: Ok, time to take the first call on my show. Hello line 1, you're through to The Wrestling Wrecking Hours!

Caller 1: Hi Montrose. I was just wondering what you thought on Jeff Hardy's chances on winning the WWF king of the Ring?

Montrose: What is all the hysteria surrounding Jeff Hardy? Sure, he can take his top off, dye his hair a funny colour, but at the end of the day he's still a light-heavyweight gimp, with a very limited array of moves! He has like, what, 3 main moves? Double Leg Drop to the Groin, Corkcscrew Moonsault and the Swanton Bomb! What he does he does very well, but um, he's rubbish on the microphone, and he just doesn't have the quantity to support the quality!

Caller 1: How come he beat Jerry Lynn for the Lightheavyweight Title then?

Montrose: In case you hadn't noticed, unlike what I do, WWF is not real! I personally what not have Lynn drop the belt, but I'm not on the WWF creative team. However, let me say this, if Jeff Hardy wins King of the Ring, then WWF have screwed up, big time. There is no way Jeff can work in the main event yet. Build him up, give him some more moves, give him more microphone time, have him wrestle, that's WRESTLE, some more singles matches and perhaps next year of the year after, but not this year. Line 2, you're through to the Wrestling Wrecking Hours!

Caller 2: What is the best theme music in the WWF?

Montrose: I don't know, what do you think?

Caller 2: I asked you the question!

Montrose: Well then why didn't you say 'What is the best theme music in the WWF in your opinion?'?

Caller 2: Heh.

Montrose: To answer your question, I really like X-Factor's music! However, Kane, Chris Jericho, Shane McMahon and The Undertaker come close behind! Caller 3, hello.

Caller 3: Outside of the WWF and WCW who is the best wrestler?

Montrose: Do you mean like in the DWF, PCW etc?

Caller 3: Yeah.

Montrose: I'm not entirely sure who is the best, but there are quite a few good people. I can only talk about the DWF, as that's the only one I've really watched. The Big Shot is really good, although he is over rated. Chainz, Mike Extreme, Dusty, they can all do a good job, but my favourite at the moment is Doozer. What an original character!

Caller 3: Cool.

Montrose: Who's your favourite?

Caller 3: Pat Walsh man!

Montrose: That might have been a sarcastic caller there, I do not know! Line 4, welcome to Wrestling Wrecking Hours!

Caller 4: What do you think about your match against Scott Crimson on Saturday in the Roleplay God 2 Tournament?

Montrose: You know, they call me the King of Nicknames, and that's for good reason! On Saturday night, I launch my conquest to be the king of a lot, lot more. Scott Crimson, as far as I am concerned, you do not represent a challenge. What you represent to me, is a sitting duck just waiting to be taken out by the Human Wrecking Ball! Some people have added another nickname to my long list recently, and that's the Hot Prospect!

*The rest of the show carries on in this amazingly successful fashion, until 10:59pm when Montrose signs off with his now trademark saying...*

Montrose: So wrestling fans, till next time, have fun, go wild, turn that bloody racket down, and sing your heart out for The Mont, because I'm the famous Montrose Mann and I'm gonna kick some ass!